Freaky Friday

Episode 3

Friday, May 20, 2016

Classes ensued and our course was underway. During our Thursday morning philosophy lecture, Krishna-ji announced that Friday morning kriya time would look slightly different. Each morning, before our 7am asana and pranayama class, we gather in the courtyard for herbal tea and jala neti. In the West, we know this nasal cleansing practice as “neti pot”. You can purchase neti pots and their accompanying salt packets in any drugstore, and the practice is becoming more mainstream as a relief for sinus issues and allergies. I was familiar with the practice from last year’s course, but I hadn’t continued it after I returned home. With my dedication to pranayama, I really should purchase a jala neti apparatus during this visit. So far in the 300-hour course, my favorite time of day is pranayama and chanting, immediately after washing my nasal passages.

Krishna continued his lecture, elucidating the different types of shatkriyas, which are divided into six different categories of cleansing practices, according to the text Hatha Yoga Pradipika: neti (nasal), dhauti (digestive tract), nauli (abdominal region), trataka (eyes), kapalabhati (breath), and basti (colon). Keen to build my yogic philosophy knowledge by experimentation, I kept an open mind. Krishna said we would perform our usual jala neti on “Kriya Friday”, but would add sutra neti and vaman dhauti. As Krishna explained these practices, I began to realize why the 300-hour course isn’t as well populated as the 200-hour course. Sutra neti involves gently sliding a thin catheter into each nostril, one nostril at a time, grasping the catheter with two fingers as it hangs at the back of the throat, and pulling it out through the mouth. Sounds feasible, I thought. Vaman dhauti requires drinking six glasses of salt water in rapid succession, rubbing the tongue with three fingers, and vomiting the salt water until bile appears. Hmmm, I thought, unpleasant, but I can use all the cleansing I can get. I certainly don’t enjoy vomiting, but at least it wouldn’t be after a night of eating and drinking. Krishna shared a story about a former student from Australia. “She was so good at vaman, very dedicated. Later, I found out she was big drinker of liquor and vomited quite a lot.” I hoped I wouldn’t be too good at vaman.

We were instructed to eat lightly during Thursday night dinner and get a good night’s rest. As predicted, I had a difficult time sleeping in anticipation of Kriya Friday. I woke up, showered, performed jala neti, and waited in the courtyard for Krishna’s instructions. He demonstrated sutra neti and instructed us to take a catheter from the salt water jug. I found a spot on the grass and slowly inserted the rubber device into my right nostril. As soon as it tickled the back of my throat, I pulled it out. Krishna observed this struggle and came over to help me. He inserted the catheter with the same gentle force but the tickling and scratching in the back of my throat was much more intense. He was holding it, so I couldn’t yank it out. Krishna had stressed to us during lecture that any foreign object is automatically rejected by the body. He elaborated, “It’s not the body. It’s this fellow,” as he patted his head. Okay, I thought, I’m not in any danger. Try to breathe. Krishna repeated my same thoughts aloud, as my fight or flight mechanism kicked in. It reminded me of SCUBA diving, panicking for air when you can’t remember the course of action. Krishna instructed to stick two fingers in the back of my throat to grasp the catheter, but I was gagging too much. Eventually, he relinquished his authority. I tried it again, but using my mind over body still wasn’t working. I decided it would be a work in progress, with five more Kriya Fridays to master the practice.

Now it was time for vaman dhauti. Krishna demonstrated once again, and we began shooting salt water like it was someone’s 21^st birthday. Actually, I began sipping my salt water, but decided faster was more palatable. I found an area on the perimeter of the garden, placed my hands on my knees, and started spitting, always a precursor to vomiting. Suddenly, the trajectories of my colleagues’ vomit caught my peripheral vision and I could only think one thing: Worst. Frat. Party. Ever. I knew my spiritual growth would suffer for equating this ancient practice with a modern, foolish one, but it was the only assimilatory schema I could conjure up.

I hunched back over and started rubbing three fingers on my tongue. I vomited a little, then stopped to spit. Krishna caught me. “Why you stopping??? Keep going! Move fingers!” With Krishna hovering over me, I had no choice but to continue the practice. I got most of the salt water out and felt quite refreshed afterwards and only slightly traumatized.

The second Kriya Friday was easier, but I still couldn’t grasp the catheter in my throat. Baby steps. I performed vaman dhauti much more easily, though I still feel as though I ingested more salt water than I should have. I plan to practice sutra neti in my room this week, in front of the mirror. During our evening meditation class, we are rewarded on Kriya Fridays with a trataka practice, a candlelight meditation in which we must keep our eyes open until tears form. Though tough, I found this practice relaxing. Again, I’m taking baby steps and improving each week.

It’s important for me to identify with the ancient yogis in this fashion. As Krishna repeats in his lectures, it’s important to accumulate experiences in order to teach concepts and practices. If you haven’t experienced it, it’s much more difficult to explain it to someone else. Here’s to new experiences!